Finding Forever (Meet the McIntyres Book 5) Read online

  I made my way into the garage and looked at the mountain of boxes already piled there. Seeing my life packed up like this, suddenly everything was real. I was doing this. I was moving here. It was too late to turn back.

  I picked up a box and carried it across to the corner before squatting down and peering inside. As soon as I peeled back the tape I realised my mistake. I should have labelled things more clearly. Having ‘Bedroom’ scribbled on the side didn’t really tell me anything at all.

  “What are you doing?”

  “Shit, Derek! You scared the crap out of me.” I clutched at my chest where my heart was beating out of control. “I’m going to put a damn bell around your neck to stop you sneaking up on me again.”

  “Ah, come on. You know you love me.”

  “That’s debatable.”

  “Anyway, what are you doing?”

  “Starting to sort through this mountain of shit. I’ve got to figure out what I need and what I don’t.”

  “Do you need to do it right now?”

  “Might as well get started.”

  “Well, I don’t want to see you lifting any of these boxes.”

  “Stop being such a pain in the ass. I’m fine. I can move a few boxes.”

  “Promise me, Zoe. Promise me you’re not carrying anything. Your job is to point and bark out directions.”

  “Bark out directions, hey?”

  “Yep. Nothing more strenuous than that. You just had a baby.”

  “Exactly. A baby. I’m not an invalid.”

  “Zoe…”

  “Derek…”

  When his phone rang, I let out a sigh of relief. Derek and I had so much history, we both knew we could argue about all this all day and still get nowhere. “Sorry!” he said, digging his phone from his pocket and moving away.

  “I forgot about this.” Mia grinned, pulling out some of Lachlan’s clothes from the box at our feet. I may have gone a tad overboard when I went shopping after finding out I was having a boy. Anything that looked cool, I bought. I doubt I needed to buy him another outfit before he turned three.

  “Forgot about what?”

  “You and Derek.”

  “Oooh, I loved that one,” I gushed as Mia pulled out the cutest pair of jeans from the box. “And there’s a shirt to go with that.” The outfit had completely derailed my train of thought. Kids’ clothes were just so damn cute.

  “Nice try.”

  “What?”

  “Changing the subject.”

  “Caught that, did ya?”

  “Yeah.”

  “Is it going to annoy you? Having me home?” It wasn’t until the words were out of my mouth that I realised I was holding my breath. This was my home. It’d always been. If Mia didn’t want me here, I wasn’t sure what I was going to do.

  “Probably.” My heart sank. “But we wouldn’t have it any other way. I’m just going to have to practice breaking up your fights and arguments.” When Mia winked at me, the heaviness drained out of me. I couldn’t help it. I threw the socks I was holding at her, smacking her in the forehead before falling to the ground.

  “Sorry to interrupt, Mia, I gotta run.”

  “Everything okay?” We both stood up and faced Derek. He was looking more than a little stressed.

  “Not sure. Car accident out the road. You right to get home?”

  “Yeah. Don’t worry about me.” I watched as Mia bounded over to Derek, kissed him quickly, and hugged him tight. “Be careful.”

  “Always. Love you.”

  “Love you too. Zoe?”

  “What?”

  “Behave. And don’t you dare lift a thing. I’m trusting you.”

  “We’ll see.”

  Derek started off down the driveway, passing by the cute removalists who were manoeuvring my couch down the driveway and dodging Jenna’s roses. Grumbling to himself, he was loud enough for us all to hear. “That woman’s going to be the death of me.”

  “Don’t stress, Derek. I’ve called in reinforcements.”

  “Thanks, Beau. And good luck. I have a feeling you’re going to need it.” Derek waved before climbing in the car and disappearing from sight.

  Once he was gone, I was able to focus. My life wasn’t going to sort itself out. I needed to stop oohing and aahing over the baby clothes and start trying to get some sort of system happening. And the sooner I got shit unpacked, the sooner Jenna and I could focus on what was important. Spending time together.

  “Is this the bed you want inside?”

  “Yep. If you could put that one in the empty bedroom at the end of the hall, that would be great.”

  “On it.”

  Two hours later and I was stuffed. Before Lachlan, I’d been relatively fit. Even through my pregnancy I spent more time than I probably should have on the treadmill. Now though, I was sweaty, and smelly, and my muscles ached. I may have ignored most of what Derek said and spent my time sorting through boxes, piling the ones I needed inside in one corner. Mainly, anything that was Lachlan’s was going inside. For me, I only needed the essentials, but for my son, he’d have everything. When I’d decided to do this on my own, go through IVF and become a single mum, that was one thing I’d promised him. If I could give him the world, I would. And bugger me, I was going to die trying.

  “Drink this,” Jenna instructed, handing me a bottle of water.

  I hadn’t realised how thirsty I was until I broke the seal of the bottle and slurped down a huge glug. “Where’s Lachlan?”

  “He’s fine. He’s asleep on my bed.”

  “Oh. Okay.”

  “Zoe, want me to start putting your bed together?” Beau offered.

  He’d been amazing all day. He’d helped the removalists unload the heavy stuff.

  “I can do it.”

  I really wasn’t good at relying on other people. Asking for help wasn’t my strong suit, either. Bossing Derek around would’ve been different. He was family. Beau, on the other hand, he was here as a favour. And Derek had been called away, leaving him here.

  “I’ll take that as a yes.”

  A car coming to a halt on the street caught our attention. When Connor stepped out, my heart sank. I hadn’t returned his messages, and I refused to acknowledge his calls, sending them straight to voicemail. I had no interest in hearing what he had to say. Yep, I understood where he’d been coming from, but that didn’t erase the hurtful things he’d said. He was just plain mean, and the things he said, the words he tossed in my direction, they stung. I was still licking the wounds they’d inflicted.

  “What’s he doing here?” I asked no one in particular.

  “I called him. He can help.”

  “I don’t need his help.”

  “Don’t worry about him, Zoe. I promise he’ll be on his best behaviour.”

  I didn’t believe Beau. I wanted to. But there was something about the way he sauntered towards us, his head held high and his shoulders squared that made him look like he was ready for battle. A battle I was too exhausted to fight today. “I hope so.”

  Leaving Beau standing there, I scooped up the box marked bathroom and escaped inside.

  “Well, this is going to be fun,” I snarked as I stepped into Jenna’s jam-packed garage, heading to where Beau had been left standing by himself.

  “Don’t be an ass, Connor.”

  Great! I’d just arrived, I hadn’t even been there two minutes, and already I was in shit. I didn’t need this. I had better things to do than to lug someone’s crap around.

  “What’d I do?”

  “Don’t pick a fight with Zoe. Not today. Just play nice. Please?”

  “Fine. Where do you need me?”

  “Did you bring your tool box?”

  “In the ute. What d’you need?”

  “Grab it. You can start putting the furniture together.”

  He was kidding, right? Surely my thoughtless big brother wasn’t asking me to put Zoe’s bed together. I looked at him, waiting for him to hit me with the
punchline of his not-so-funny joke. Nothing came. Instead he shooed me out of the garage as he picked up a box and headed inside.

  Grabbing my stuff, I followed Jenna’s instructions and weaved my way through the obstacle course and into the bedroom. Leaning against the wall was the pieces of the bed, just waiting to be screwed back together. Setting the pieces down, getting ready to start attaching them, some guy wearing the ugliest Fluoro orange singlet I’d ever seen appeared with an armful of wooden slats.

  “Zoe told me this went in here too.”

  “Okay.”

  I didn’t like this guy. I wasn’t sure what it was specifically I disliked about him. Maybe it was the tattoos that wrapped around his arms. Maybe it was the scent of cigarette smoke that radiated off him. Or perhaps it was simply the fact he was standing in Zoe’s bedroom.

  Ignoring the pissed off feeling that was growing with each passing minute, I focused on the task at hand. Zoe needed somewhere to sleep tonight, and I’d be buggered if I wasn’t going to make sure she had it. I was tightening the last corner when the door to the attached bathroom opened and Zoe stood there looking absolutely breathtaking. Her hair was piled up on the top of her head, she was covered in dirt, and her shirt was clinging to her in some places, places I couldn’t stop my eyes from lingering on.

  “I didn’t know you were in here.”

  She sounded breathless as her cheeks flushed the most beautiful shade of pink. When her tongue darted out and wet her lips, I barely restrained my groan.

  “Beau has me on construction.”

  “I told him I’d do it,” she huffed.

  It was obvious how little Zoe knew Beau. He might have been wrapped around Payton’s little finger and more than happy to sit and read books about fairy princesses and unicorns to Robin, but when it came down to it, he’d never ask a woman to carry something heavy or use a hammer. Not because they couldn’t. Because they shouldn’t. And as much as it might piss Zoe off to hear it, I agreed wholeheartedly.

  “It’s fine. I got it. But while you’re here…”

  “Yes?”

  There were so many things I wanted to talk to her about. Questions I wanted to ask. Explanations I needed to offer. Now wasn’t the time. But after tonight, she’d be living here. Permanently. There’d be plenty of time. Instead of asking everything I wanted to, I stayed in the safe zone. “Where do you want it?”

  “Want what?”

  I loved that she was off balance. I was a mean bastard, but seeing her scrambled made me feel a million times better.

  “Your bed. Which wall do you want it up against?”

  “Oh. Um. This one please,” she asked politely.

  “No worries.”

  “Zoe!” someone called out from down the hallway.

  “I’ve gotta…”

  “No worries. Go. I got this.”

  I watched her go, well, I watched her ass go. Having a kid hadn’t done a thing to make Zoe any less attractive. If anything, it was the opposite. Her already amazing curves were more prominent and those boobs, man, I was glad she’d left when she had, because I didn’t know how long I could continue to have a conversation while forcing myself to meet her gaze instead of focusing on the incredible rack she was rocking.

  Half an hour later and not one person had stepped foot in here. I don’t know if it was because they were ignoring me, or giving me room to work. Either way, I’d finished up what I needed to. Zoe’s bed was no longer in pieces, and only needed a mattress and some blankets before it would be ready for her to slip into. Then in the corner of the room, Lachlan’s cot was all set up. It was something I hadn’t imagined I’d ever find myself doing…putting together a cot.

  “What next?” I asked as I emerged from the bedroom, only to be shushed as soon as I said anything.

  I was annoyed at the reaction, especially when I was giving up my time to help someone who so obviously didn’t want my help. Right until I saw Zoe leaning back in the recliner, her eyes closed, and her arms full of blue blankets and her baby boy.

  Nodding silently, I stepped outside and into the sun.

  Everything had been unloaded and the truck was gone. Now it was a matter of sorting through Zoe’s stuff and getting it inside. I wasn’t entirely convinced I should be touching any of it. It just felt wrong going through her stuff, especially while she wasn’t here to supervise.

  “You okay?” Beau asked as he set down a chest of drawers.

  “Dunno,” I answered honestly.

  “Help me get these inside and then we’ll take off.”

  “Sounds good.” I picked up the side table and followed Beau inside. I couldn’t help but sneak a glance at sleeping Zoe as I passed by. Someone, more than likely Jenna, had draped a grey blanket over her legs, making her look comfy and content.

  “Connor?”

  “Huh?”

  “You gonna put them away, or stand there and stare at Zoe like a creeper all afternoon?”

  Shit! That’s exactly what I’d been doing. Snapping out of my trance, I carried the drawers down the hall and into her bedroom. Of course, Beau had put his on the close side, so I had to walk around. When I realised there wasn’t enough room for mine, I set them down and went about wriggling everything over just a tad so I could squeeze it in the corner.

  As I finally got my drawers in place, the top one slid open. It wasn’t that I wanted to look, I just couldn’t avoid it. Looking in someone’s bedside table was wrong. I knew that. I’d be pissed if someone went rooting around in mine. I think they’d be more embarrassed than I would, but I still wouldn’t be happy. Didn’t stop me from peeking in Zoe’s, though.

  When the purple vibrator rolled to the front of the drawers, I smirked like the asshole I was. Good to know the girl took care of herself. Especially when lying beside it was a packet of extra batteries. God forbid the batteries died halfway through. I could just imagine how bitchy she’d be.

  Chuckling to myself, I wondered what else Zoe had stashed away for a rainy day. Or a lonely night. Whatever took her fancy. I wasn’t judging. Okay, I was, but it was all good.

  Just when I was about to close the drawer and walk away, something even more interesting caught my attention. A white folder sat underneath the toy, a logo from a fertility clinic taunting me.

  The smart thing would have been to leave it where it was and get out. I can’t remember the last time I’d done the smart thing though. Instead I dug it out, plopped down on Zoe’s mattress, and opened the folder. At first, I didn’t really understand what I was reading. There was so much information. There were brochures, invoices, and handwritten notes. It wasn’t until I’d thumbed through more than a dozen pages that the reality of what I was looking at clicked in my too-slow brain. It was the profile for a guy. It contained all his personal details, height, weight, eye colour, as well as his education and employment history. Even I could admit, on paper this guy was hard to compete with. Especially for a country bumpkin like me.

  “What are you doing?”

  Even before she lost her shit, I knew no matter what I said next, she was going to. There was no way to dodge the bullet that was aimed directly at my head. What’s worse, I deserved to be in the firing line. I’d intruded into the most private part of Zoe’s life. I’d be lucky if I made it out of here with my balls still attached.

  Knowing I was screwed either way, I tried to avoid admitting I’d been snooping. “Nothing. I had to move the bed over a bit to get the beside drawers on this side in.”

  “Oh, no worries.”

  I stuffed the folder back where I found it and slammed the draw shut and found my feet. My mind was buzzing. When I’d confronted Zoe a week ago, I had no idea. Now I realised just how far off base my accusations had been.

  Shuffling out of the room, I wanted to get away as quick as I could. Maybe, just maybe I could escape without Zoe even knowing what I’d done.

  As soon as I passed through the doorway and was in the safe zone, I was ready to run. “Connor?” Zoe
’s voice froze me where I stood.

  “Yeah?” My stomach was in my mouth. Instinctively, my hands covered my nuts.

  “Thanks for your help.”

  Holding back the sigh of relief that I’d gotten away with it, I answered simply. “Anytime, Zoe. Anytime.”

  “You really mean that, don’t you?”

  “Of course. Why wouldn’t I?” Zoe was nothing if not confusing.

  “Never mind. I’ll see you around.”

  “Absolutely.”

  Not wanting to push my luck, I bolted. After saying a quick goodbye to Jenna and Mia, I headed out to my ute, already running through the list of things I had left to do today. As much as I wanted Zoe in my life, I could already see the downside. Twice in a week I’d seen her, and twice I’d ignored my responsibilities and dropped everything for her. Or because of her. The truth was I wouldn’t have it any other way, but still. I hoped Jack had managed to keep things on track, otherwise I was going to be paying for it tomorrow.

  I opened my door and shoved the keys in the ignition. After digging my phone and wallet out of my pockets, I threw them on the passenger seat and went to climb in.

  I was too slow.

  I hadn’t heard the door open.

  I hadn’t seen her coming.

  There was no way I could miss the mouthful she was spitting out at me. “Connor McInytre! How fucking dare you!” she hissed between breaths. Her nostrils were flaring and her whole face was turning red.

  Last week I’d pissed her off and got slapped. Based on the fury on her face right now, if I got slapped again, I was getting off lightly.

  “You went through my stuff!” It wasn’t a question, and I wasn’t stupid enough to offer an answer. My mind was split. How’d she know? What was it that gave me away? I didn’t have to wait long to get an answer to my unasked question. She was waving a receipt back and forth. It must have fallen out of the folder when I’d stuffed it back in.

  “Zoe!”

  “Don’t even bother, Connor. You didn’t believe me. You thought you deserved to know. Well, guess what? You deserve nothing. Lachlan’s mine. He’s not yours. He’ll never be yours. And neither will I.”

  Watching her wipe the lone tear that trailed down her cheek away with her finger, Zoe threw the paper in my direction, bowed her head, and shuffled back into the house. The door closed with a click that echoed into the afternoon, leaving me alone and feeling like shit.