Running Away (Finding Your Place Book 2) Read online

  “Tuesday works for me. How ’bout I pick you up at six-thirty?”

  “Can we make it seven?”

  “Are you trying to keep me on my toes, Mia?”

  I giggled. I didn’t want to, but I couldn’t help it. It just bubbled up my throat and escaped involuntarily. “Not at all. I just have a class that afternoon, so I want to make sure I have enough time to change. Unless, of course, you want me to go out in public in my gym clothes, all sweaty and smelly and gross.”

  I heard Derek groan, which only sent me into another fit of giggles. Then it struck me. I was flirting. With a man. A gorgeous, huge, extremely addictive man. A man I could very easily become wrapped up in, if I wasn’t already.

  “I don’t think I’d mind too much. Fine. Seven on Tuesday. I’m picking you up from the gym. Don’t be late. Wear something nice.”

  “Sounds great.”

  “Right. I’m hanging up now, otherwise you’ll change your mind, Cinderella. See you next Tuesday.”

  Before I had a chance to respond, he followed through with his threat and hung up, leaving me with my mouth agape and the dial tone in my ear.

  “Now there’s a happy face,” Zoe pointed out as she moved back towards me.

  “Did you know?”

  She didn’t answer. Well, not with words. Instead she offered a casual shrug of her shoulder before yanking open the back door and scooting inside, leaving me to follow.

  Shaking off the mixture of emotions, I grabbed my water bottle and towel, and made my way into the rooms. Out here I didn’t have to think. I just had to do it. This is what I loved. It was why I built this place. To be able to push your body to that point where it begged you to stop, then push a little further. That point where conventional thought no longer existed. That was where I belonged. And right now, a high intensity step class would get me there.

  Two hours later, with every muscle in my body begging for relief, I stumbled on wobbly legs into the shower and blasted the hot water. Most people had already headed out, but a few still lingered. The change rooms are disgusting. I thought men were pigs until I opened this place. Turns out women are worse. Especially when they’re not the ones cleaning up. Although I employed an awesome cleaner who came through every night, I never felt comfortable leaving such a mess for them, so I tried to tidy up first. Every night before I left I made my way in here and scraped the thick globs of makeup from the counter and the speckles of toothpaste from the mirror. I mean seriously, who can’t brush their teeth without coating the mirror with splatters of toothpaste? Wet towels were left on the floor, plastic cups abandoned where they’d fallen, and don’t even get me started on the underwear. I swear each week I’d end up with at least four pairs of panties in the lost and found. Not just the cheap cotton boy leg briefs that I wore, either. Some of it was damn expensive lacy stuff. How the hell do you forget your underwear?

  Stepping over another pair of forgotten panties, I unlocked my locker, stripped down, grabbed my toiletries, and headed for the stalls. Although this was a gym, it was my gym, and when I’d built it, I figured if it wasn’t something I’d feel comfortable with, then why should I expect anyone else to? Every stall had a door which almost reached the floor and the ceiling. I’d never liked those half ass doors. I was always worried someone tall was going to peer over the top and see what was going on. After hanging my towel on the hook on the back of the door, I stepped under the scalding spray and let my aches, pains and troubles circle the drain.

  I don’t know how long I was in there, I didn’t really care. I was finished for the day after four morning classes, a couple of private PT sessions, and a stack of paperwork―I was more than ready to call it a night.

  Tugging on an oversized pair of grey sweat pants and a navy hoodie, which was about five sizes too big, I felt refreshed and awesome. For some reason wearing baggy clothes made me feel better than when I was all dressed up. Maybe it was the comfort factor, or perhaps it was just the knowledge that no one in their right mind would ever look twice at me that made me feel safe. Either way, I didn’t give a shit. With my heels aching, I didn’t bother trying to stuff my feet back into my runners, instead I slipped on a pair of thongs and headed out.

  Just as I was about to push through the front door I realized I’d left my phone on the charger in the office and spun around to head back to get it, only to crash into Zoe.

  “Shit, Zoe! I’m so sorry. Are you okay?” I mumbled as I bent down and started picking up everything I’d knocked from her hands.

  “Mia, it’s fine. I’m fine,” she assured me as she took her towel and water bottle back off me.

  “Are you sure? I didn’t…”

  Zoe’s face dropped. She turned an ashen shade of grey. I didn’t know whether to find something for her to throw up in or catch her as she slumped to the floor. But she was stronger than I gave her credit for. She did neither. Instead, she looked me straight in the eye. “He told you.”

  It wasn’t a question. It was a statement. One that left no room for interpretation at all.

  I couldn’t read her. Was she angry? Upset? Pissed off? Ready to punch someone? Punch me?

  “Zoe, I’d never say anything…”

  She shook her head, obviously she didn’t want to talk about it. At least not with me. “Have you got time for coffee?” she asked.

  A feather would have knocked me over.

  Here I was waiting for her to rant and rave, cry and howl, punch and kick, and yet again I’d underestimated her. Zoe was inviting me for coffee. As much as my bed was calling me, I couldn’t say no. Not now. I’d grab something to eat there. Everything else could wait.

  “Absolutely. Lead the way.”

  Chapter 15

  Derek

  Things were weird. Not in a bad way necessarily, but things weren’t normal. For the first time in months Zoe was smiling without me forcing it out of her. It was refreshing. Even though I’d never say it to her, I was getting really tired of the mopey, moody version of Zoe. The zombie I’d been living with. And when I’d found her cutting, well, that shit just scared the life out of me. She didn’t know it, and she never would, but I didn’t sleep for days after that. The moment her eyes closed, I watched her like a creeper, afraid she’d slip back into her dark habits. But now, now it seemed like the darkness was starting to lift, and the Zoe I grew up with was slowly but surely beginning to come back. I wasn’t naïve enough to believe she’d ever be the same girl again…fuck, after what happened none of us ever would be the same, but a smile―I was damn happy with a smile. And I reckon I had a bouncy blonde to thank for the change.

  It wasn’t just Zoe who she was changing, either.

  The thought of Mia made my palms sweaty. I don’t remember the last time I’d been on a real, honest to goodness date. Certainly not since I’d moved to Melbourne. I wasn’t some man whore who slept around, and I wasn’t an asshole either…well, at least not most of the time. I was honest. Upfront. The women I was with knew exactly what they were getting into. Then it was their choice. I told them what I wanted, and how I wanted it, and if they were okay with that, well then, lucky me. But if they weren’t, well, no harm no foul. Out of respect for Zoe, I hadn’t brought anyone back to our place, and I never stayed the night. It was a couple of hours of mutual fun and it was all over. No numbers were exchanged. No promises were made. No hearts were broken. It was all I wanted. All I was capable of.

  But Mia…

  Mia just might be different.

  There was just something about her.

  Something more I needed.

  Something I needed to know.

  I wanted to know her secrets.

  Why she was guarded.

  Who hurt her.

  Who I needed to beat the shit out of.

  I liked talking to her.

  I liked being with her.

  I liked seeing her smile.

  I liked knowing I was the one who put the smile there.

  Shit! I was screwed. I s
ounded like a girl! I hadn’t even taken her out yet and already she’d wormed her way under my skin. I had to get this shit under control, and quick!

  Shaking off the thought, I changed into my sweat pants, then yanked a shirt over my head before stuffing my feet into my runners and heading out the door. I needed to burn off some of this pent-up energy. Running was my only option right now. I was going to run the nerves out of my system.

  Two and a half hours later I crawled back through the door and collapsed on the floor. I’d pushed too hard. Again. I was an idiot. I’d never learn. My jelly legs couldn’t hold me. If I’d have had my wallet with me I couldn’t be sure I wouldn’t have hailed a cab and caught a lift home. Instead I’d wobbled home, grateful it wasn’t another metre further.

  “Shit, Derek, you okay?” Zoe asked, coming into the lounge room, where I lay sprawled out pathetically on the floor.

  “Yeah,” I lied.

  She vanished out of sight and I could hear her shuffling about. A moment later an icy water bottle was pushed into my hand and I was thankful Zoe was in my life. “What the fuck did you do to yourself?” The feeling vanished instantly.

  “I just went for a run.”

  “How far?”

  “I don’t know.”

  “Did you stretch?”

  “Um.”

  “Derek!” she scolded. I chuckled. It was funny. I mean, this was Zoe. Zoe, who hated exercise and sweat more than spiders, was lecturing me over not stretching properly. “You know you shouldn’t run without warming up properly.”

  “Yes, Mum.”

  “Smart ass.”

  I felt my shoes being tugged off my feet and I know I should have told her to stop, that the smell alone may kill her, but the moment she peeled my damp socks from my feet I had to admit I felt better. And when her tiny, soft fingers started kneading the balls of my feet, I moaned embarrassingly. Fuck, it felt good. Too good. If I was guaranteed this sort of treatment every time I overdid it running, I’d do it more often.

  “Feel good?”

  My eyes had fallen closed and my hands were resting in the centre of my chest, which was still heaving beneath my damp shirt. “So good,” I mumbled.

  “Well, while you’re lying there quiet I need to say something…” Zoe’s soft voice trailed away and I felt every muscle in my body clench.

  Before everything, I knew Zoe well enough, but not so intimately that I could pick her mood by the way she carried her shoulders or the way her voice caught on the end of a word. Now, my eyes could be closed and my body aching and I knew. It was strange and unexpected how it had happened, but I wouldn’t change it for the world. This is what it meant to have family. And Zoe was mine. No one was coming between us. Not now. Not ever.

  Fighting the urge to open my eyes and look at her, I murmured again and forced my focus on the fantastic feeling in my toes. Seriously, how did I not know she could do this?

  “I just wanted to apologize for everything, Derek. After Spencer…I was a mess. And I wasn’t your mess to clean up, but you did it anyway. You could have walked away and left me. Not once did you even look like you were going to. No matter how many times I tried to push you away.”

  I couldn’t do it. I couldn’t lie there motionless and let her pour her soul out thinking I wasn’t one hundred and ten percent focused on her. Sitting up, I ignored the protest in my back, knowing I’d pay for it later, but I didn’t care. Zoe was here, and for the first time in a long time, she was talking. Not just saying words, but really talking. I was not about to let her pour her heart out alone.

  “Zoe…if you really thought for a second I would ever or could ever walk away from you, no matter what you did, you don’t know me. Or Spencer.” Her eyebrow quirked up questioningly. “I could never walk away from you, Zoe. You’re family. Besides, Spencer would haunt both our asses.”

  She laughed. A real honest to goodness giggle. I couldn’t help it. I joined her.

  And like that the heaviness lifted.

  For the next hour, we sat cross-legged on the floor recounting stories from the old days. Stories of all the mischief and mayhem the three of us caused. It felt fantastic.

  I’d never admit it to anyone, least of all Zoe, but ever since I’d moved to Melbourne, I’d felt disconnected from the world. She was the only reason I was here. It wasn’t my home. It wasn’t where I wanted to be. It wasn’t what I wanted. Nothing about my life was the way I imagined. Zoe was the only reason. I hated being a security guard. It was a bullshit job. Don’t get me wrong, it needed to be done. And it needed to be done by good, loyal, honest guys, but I wasn’t one of them. Standing around nightclubs or shopping centres watching the world pass by wasn’t my idea of a career. I was born to be a cop. I’d just needed a break after everything that had gone down. I never told Zoe the truth, I couldn’t. I didn’t resign from the force, not technically. Instead I took a twelve month leave of absence to get my shit together. At first they weren’t happy, but when I explained the situation, they seemed to get it.

  “So,” Zoe’s voice pulled me back from my thoughts. “I hear you have a hot date tonight.”

  There was a wicked smile on her face and mischief in her eyes. I loved seeing it there. It was right where it belonged. I’d happily be the butt of all of her jokes for the rest of her days if it made her smile like that.

  “I have a date tonight, yes.”

  “With Mia?”

  “Yes. With Mia.”

  “She’s hot!”

  “Yes. I guess she is.”

  “Are you blind, Derek? Mia’s fucking hot!”

  I couldn’t help it. I laughed loudly as I stumbled to my feet before offering Zoe my hand and pulling her up behind me. I might not have regretted stretching before I went running, but I was certainly regretting not cooling down properly. “Have you got something to tell me, Zoe? You switching teams?”

  “You’re an ass, you know that?”

  “Yep! But you love me anyway.”

  As she stomped off towards her bedroom, she couldn’t help herself. She never could. She had to toss one last sarcastic remark over her shoulder. “You’re lucky I do.”

  And she was right. I was damn lucky I had Zoe in my life. It was one thing I wouldn’t change for the world. In fact, even if she didn’t know it, even if she didn’t believe it, I’d upend my world to keep her in it, and not just because of the promises we’d made as kids to protect her always. Zoe was special. But right now, she was going to become the number two woman on my list. A pixie blonde was about to slip into the number one position for the evening. Mia. Heading towards the bathroom, I still had no fucking idea where to take her or what to do tonight. All I knew was it had to be something.

  I showered, shaved, and even did my hair. I don’t remember the last time I made an attempt to at least look half decent. After splashing on some cologne Zoe’d bought me for Christmas, I pulled on some shoes, stuffed my phone, keys, and wallet in my pocket, and headed into the kitchen. I wanted a beer to calm my nerves, but I was driving, so it would have to be a Coke. I hated being nervous. The feeling of being out of control didn’t work for me. Not one little bit. In fact, it pissed me right off. I’d stupidly hoped that while I’d been standing under the pounding water I’d get some kind of idea what to do tonight, but I had nothing. Any chump could take her to a restaurant for dinner, and the truth was, I didn’t really like dinner as a first date. There were too many expectations.

  “About time!”

  “What!” I snapped irritably at Zoe as I stalked into the kitchen and grabbing a can of drink from the fridge.

  I didn’t mean to be an ass, but I was on edge, likely to snap at any given moment without warning.

  “Geez! Pissy much?”

  “Sorry.” I shrugged as I sunk onto the barstool.

  “Here.”

  Zoe handed me a bunch of flowers and a black material bag that weighed a bloody ton. “What the―?”

  “For tonight.”

  “I don
’t…”

  “I know.”

  “Zoe…”

  “Shut up, Derek. I know, okay? You have no idea what you’re doing and it’s okay. Give Mia the flowers. Tell her she looks pretty. Try not to stare at her ass all night. And be a gentleman.”

  “What?”

  She slid an envelope into my hand. I opened it to find two tickets to the open-air cinema in the park.

  “Zoe…”

  “Okay, here’s what’s going to happen. Go pick up Zoe. Give her the flowers. Tell her she looks pretty. You’re going to the Botanical Gardens. They have a giant inflatable cinema set up there. You have tickets. I got you the good seats so you have the double bean bags to relax in instead of just a picnic blanket. In the bag, I packed you some cheese, crackers, dip, grapes, and chocolate. They sell drinks there, so you can get them, and maybe even buy some ice cream. I also threw in a blanket. I know you won’t need to sit on it, but if it gets cold…”

  “How’d I get so lucky?” In one motion, I was off the barstool and had Zoe wrapped in my arms.

  “What do you mean?”

  “To have you in my life. You’re an amazing girl, Zoe.”

  “Derek…”

  “Thank you for this. For thinking of it. For planning it. I really had no fucking idea what I was going to do.”

  “I know.”

  She giggled at me. That girl knew how to frustrate the shit out of me and drive me bat shit insane. But I loved her for it. I wouldn’t trade her for the world.

  Snuggling her head against my chest, I glanced down at my watch and noticed the time. I had to get going. “Pippi…I gotta go.”

  “I know,” she acknowledged but didn’t make any attempt to move. If anything, she just burrowed in closer and I felt her hand scrunch a handful of my shirt. I heard the sniff as her whole body vibrated.

  Running my hand down her spine, I didn’t need to look at her to know there were tears. They mightn’t be running down her cheeks but it was only a matter of time. “One day, Zoe, someone will sweep you off your feet again.”