Taking Charge (Meet the McIntyres Book 1) Page 18

  Well, that did it. When he dissolved in a fit of loud, obnoxious laughter, I yanked myself from his grip. Everything that felt so good about him barely a breath ago was now just infuriating.

  Without missing a beat, Beau grabbed my wrist and yanked me back into his arms before crushing my mouth to his. His tongue traced the seam of my lips, and when the moan escaped me, he took advantage, plunging inside. With one hand tangled in my hair, the other went to my ass and held me against him as he dominated my mouth.

  Eventually he eased up and released my mouth, leaving me gasping for air. With his hand still at the nape of my neck, he kept our foreheads touching. I was panting and gasping and rubbing my thighs together, desperate for some relief from the throbbing in my panties that was currently controlling my every thought. My every perverted, X-rated thought.

  “Ryan’s my brother. My baby brother. And the one who had his hands all over you.”

  “Oh.”

  “Yeah, oh.” Looking into Beau’s eyes, there was still determination there mixed with unaltered, all-consuming lust. Everything I was feeling, I knew I wasn’t the only one. It was reflected in Beau’s eyes as he held me captive. “That will not be happening again. Do I make myself clear?”

  I hated being told what to do. Who I could see and who I couldn’t. Where I could go. When I could leave. When I had to stay. What I could wear that was appropriate for someone my size. I fucking despised it. It was the biggest source of my pain over the years, and here Beau was, doing exactly that. For some reason though, this time it felt different. He wasn’t deciding who I could see or what I could do. All he wanted was me to keep his brother’s hands off me. That was something I could give him. It was something I wanted to.

  Dancing with Ryan wasn’t supposed to be anything more than that. He was a sweet, good-looking guy who could move with the best of them, and he made me laugh. That was it, though. I didn’t want to go home with him. I didn’t want his hands on my ass or his lips on mine. All I wanted was what he was offering. A few harmless dances and some harmless laughs.

  “We’ll see.”

  Obviously that was the wrong answer.

  Before I knew it I was upside down, thrown over Beau’s shoulders like a sack of potatoes as he marched us through the pub and towards the door.

  “Payton?” Josie called out.

  Looking up from my embarrassing position on Beau’s shoulder, I caught the confused and bemused look on her face. With Mia beside her snickering, I wished I had something I could throw at them. Instead, I took the mature approach. I poked my tongue out at them before slapping Beau’s ass loudly as it wiggled back and forth in front of my face.

  “Take it you’re not coming home with us, Beau?”

  “Nope. Busy.” His short answer caused the bar to fill with roaring laughter. Digging my face into the small of Beau’s back, I felt it burn under the scrutiny and judgment.

  I didn’t have time to worry about it, though. A second later we were though the door, the cold air nipping at the exposed skin at the band of my jeans where my jumper had ridden up. Setting me on my feet, Beau cupped my face in his huge, paw-like hands and kissed me senseless.

  Kissing Beau was like a drug, and one I was deeply addicted to.

  “We-can’t-do-this-again,” I panted like a dog in heat. In all fairness, it was more than just my panting that resembled a dog in heat.

  “Why the fuck not?” he fired back, a mixture of shocked and pissed.

  “Oh stop it!” I slapped him across the chest. “I meant not here. Not on the street where anyone can see. I have to live here, you know.” He returned the slap, but mine came to my ass with a resounding thwack. Tingles shot through my body. I didn’t think I’d enjoy having my ass smacked, I shouldn’t enjoy it, but with Beau’s hands massaging my stinging ass, I think I did. I really did.

  “Home! Now!”

  Without letting me protest or object, he swept me off my feet and carried me fireman-style down the street. Even though I was embarrassed, the horniness outweighed it. Instead of squirming, for fear of being dropped on the concrete, I held tight and dug my hands into the pockets of his jeans.

  As we rounded the corner, the light dimmed. The building blocked out the street light and I hadn’t gotten around to replacing the globe at the bottom of the stairs—something I should probably do sooner rather than later, considering I tripped up them more times than I could count. The darkness that enveloped us was all Beau needed to put me on my feet and crush his mouth over mine, stealing my breath.

  I reached down and cupped him through his jeans, feeling the hot, heavy bulge there. With a few quick squeezes, not only was Beau thrusting into my hand, but the groan that slipped from his kiss-swollen lips did nothing but encourage me to keep going. His huge hands found my boobs and kneaded them desperately. Now I was the one writhing and moaning about under his ministrations.

  Someone behind us coughed. Loudly.

  It was the type of forced, fake cough that was designed to let someone know you’re there. Tugging my jumper down over my ass, I was desperate to look at least a little respectable. I knew without looking that my hair would be a disaster and my cheeks burning.

  “Am I interrupting something?”

  I recognised that voice. I would know it anywhere. It used to be my favourite voice in the world. “Carly?” Nervously, I stepped out from behind Beau but didn’t let go of his hand. He held tight, intertwining my fingers with his. If it was meant to prove he wasn’t going anywhere and give me the courage that I craved, then it was working. Perfectly.

  “Hey Payton.”

  She stood up from the step and I saw the girl I once knew staring back at me with a duffle bag at her feet.

  “Wh-what are you doing here?” I was stunned. Absolutely, mind-blowingly stunned. I didn’t even know Carly knew where I was.

  “I got your message.”

  “Oh.”

  “I missed you, Pay.”

  My mouth was drier than the desert under the scorching hot summer sun. I had no words. I remembered texting her in my moment of weakness, but never could I have imagined she’d show up on my doorstep barely twenty-four hours later.

  I felt Beau attempt to untangle our fingers. In truth, I’d forgotten he was there, or that my hand was in his. When he tugged and tried to pull away, it was my turn to hold tight. I knew I wasn’t ready for anything more than some fun with him, that didn’t mean I wanted to do this on my own, though.

  “I should leave you girls to catch up…”

  He was offering me an out. The problem was, I didn’t want one. Not tonight anyway. Before I could stall his request, Carly did it for me.

  “Please don’t. I’ve interrupted your night. You should stay. I’ll go find a hotel and Payton and I can catch up tomorrow?” Her voice was full of hope, her eyes wide. How could I deny her? She’d obviously dropped everything to come. I was happy about seeing her, I really was but the sceptic in me reminded me to be wary.

  I watched as she picked up her bag and threw it over her shoulder before descending the last few steps. Standing face to face, I remembered why Carly and I fought the way we did. Where I was round and bumpy, she was tall and slender. Her long, straight blonde hair didn’t have a strand out of place, where mine…well, right now I was too afraid to look. Carly looked like she just stepped from a page in a magazine. She had gravity-defying boobs, long legs with that gap between her thighs which made me want to hold her down and force feed her, and those pouty Jolie lips that made boys crazy. If I had to compete with her, we wouldn’t have been friends. It would have driven me crazy. The jealousy would have eaten me alive. But she was Hayden’s sister and absolutely no threat at all.

  “Both of you come upstairs. I’ve got a bottle of vodka in the fridge with our names on it.” I don’t know what possessed me to invite both Beau and Carly upstairs, but once the words were out of my mouth I couldn’t take them back.

  “Payton, it’s fine. I can go. We can do this another
time,” Beau offered genuinely.

  I hated that he was being so sweet. I didn’t need him doing that. I needed him to be hot and heavy and hard. I needed him to bend me over and fuck me until I couldn’t walk, then kiss me goodbye and not ask for anymore. That’s all I could give him. I had nothing else left to offer. This was me. It wasn’t enough for him. He deserved more. Hell, so did I. The difference was I wasn’t naïve enough to begin to believe I’d ever get it.

  Beau took my silence as confirmation. After placing a soft, gentle kiss on my lips, he left me with a promise to call the next day. It wasn’t a promise I wanted him to make. The thought of it alone made me feel queasy. Standing there like a statue, I watched him walk away and disappear into the night.

  “Let’s go. I need a drink.”

  Taking the stairs two at a time, I unlocked the door and headed in, Carly hot on my heels. “Wow! This place is…”

  “Small. I know.”

  “I was going to say you. It screams Payton. That place you used to live in, it never felt like home. It was too clean, too clinical. This is so you, Pay.”

  “What? Crap everywhere? Cheap, mismatched furniture.”

  “Stop it! Just fucking stop it!” Carly snapped, dropping her bag and facing me. Her eyes were narrowed, her hands rested on her non-existent waist and her foot was tapping impatiently.

  “Sorry,” I apologised quickly.

  “My god, Payton, would you cut the crap? This is me. I’m the person standing right here before you looking at you. And you seem to have forgotten that out of everyone in your life, I’m the one who can see through your bullshit and see the real you. So don’t apologise if you don’t mean it. Own your style. This apartment…sure you might have a couch full of orange and purple pillows and the TV cabinet is an old pallet, but it’s you. So totally you.”

  I didn’t want to hear this right now. It’d been a long day. I felt like I’d been explaining myself for a lifetime and I just wanted to stop. I didn’t want to have to deal with judgment and pretending anymore. I wanted to be free. And be me.

  “Thank you?”

  “You’re welcome. Now, pour the damn vodka and point me in the direction of the bathroom.”

  Quickly, I showed her to the bathroom and headed back to the kitchen. As much as I hated what Carly said, she was right. I’d spent my whole life either apologizing for who I was or hiding from it. When I was with Hayden, I’d hidden everything from him. No wonder it ended. He had no idea who I really was. I faked everything. My likes and dislikes were based off what he would consider appropriate. I dressed in only things he approved of. I starved myself, trying to be the woman I thought he wanted. And as much as I wanted to blame him for all of it, I couldn’t. I was the one who did it. It was all on me.

  With that miserable thought, I threw back the healthy slosh of vodka in the bottom of my glass before replacing it and topping it off with OJ. Even though it burnt my throat, it was a good burn.

  Carly breezed back in, her boots forgotten, and grabbed her glass before sitting down cross-legged on the couch. I knew just from the look of her that this was going to be a very long night. Carly had that look about her which told me everything I needed to know. She wanted answers, and she wasn’t moving until she got them. I’d only seen her like this once before…the morning after I’d lost my virginity. Even though it’d been her brother to pop my cherry, she wanted all the specifics. Well, all except his name.

  “What’s that smile about?”

  “Nothing.”

  “Uh uh! I know you, Pay. You never smile like that for nothing. Spill it.”

  “Fine! I was just remembering the last time you bossed me around like this. Demanding to know everything about everything.”

  “Yeah, good times.” Carly nodded, and for a moment all was quiet.

  “So, where do you want to start?”

  “Nowhere.”

  “Nice try. Okay, I’ll narrow down the options. One, we talk about that delicious piece of man candy you were playing tonsil hockey with earlier.”

  Fuck no! I did not want Carly anywhere near the mine field that was Beau and I. There was no Beau and I to start with, so there really wasn’t anything to dissect.

  “Or two. You can explain what the fuck happened and why my best friend ran out in the middle of the night to places unknown without so much as a word.”

  “Is there a third option?”

  The steely gaze she threw my way confirmed there wasn’t. Silence hung on the air, and without realising it, my glass was empty. “Need a top up?” I offered as I pried myself from the couch and headed back to the kitchen. The smart move would have been to bring the bottles over to the coffee table so they were on hand. However, that wouldn’t give me an excuse to escape Carly’s heated death stares. Even if it was only for a moment, it was a moment I needed. After filling my glass, I shuffled back in unhappily before sinking back against the pile of pillows.

  “What’s his name?”

  “Whose name?”

  “Nup! Not playing dumb today, Pay. I’m going to ask questions and you’re going to answer. With the whole, honest to goodness truth. So, we’ll try again. Name?”

  “Beau McIntyre.”

  “Job?”

  “Works on his family’s farm.”

  “Mmmm, cowboy. Nice choice, Pay. Good in bed?”

  What the fuck? How does that come next in the line of questioning? “Don’t bother answering. I can tell by that dreamy look on your face he knows exactly what he’s doing. Oh, and I know he’s good with his hands. I had the pleasure of watching you come undone with them. Or should I say, I watched you have the pleasure…”

  I threw a cushion at her head. Actually I threw two. One just didn’t seem enough. Carly, being the bitch she was, just laughed as she gulped down the last of her drink.

  “You’re a bitch,” I reminded her, wishing my body would cool down. My humiliation was complete. Not only had I been all over Beau like a rash, but Carly, my ex-best friend, had witnessed my horniness first hand. And that shit should never be seen. There was a reason bedrooms had doors. A very fucking good reason.

  Instead she shrugged offhandedly. “Yeah, but you knew that already.”

  “Anyway, how long have you two been…doing whatever the hell it is you’re doing?”

  “Not long.”

  “You’re happy though.”

  It wasn’t a question. Carly’s statement tore through me and made my whole chest ache. I couldn’t be happy. I didn’t deserve to be. It wasn’t in the cards for me, so why, why would she say I was? I needed a moment to pull my shit together but knew Carly wasn’t likely to allow that. Instead I turned the tables on her. “So, what are you doing here?”

  “Nice! Diversion tactics only work for so long, you know? I’m here because you wanted me to be.”

  “Not so sure about that,” I muttered under my breath as I watched her smirk devilishly.

  “Come on, Pay, I know you’re half-pissed, but you know you do. You pack up and disappear in the middle of the night without even saying goodbye or leaving a forwarding address. The first time I hear from you in months is when I get a random, out of the blue message saying ‘hey.’ Like what the fuck? I deserved more than that and you damn well know it.”

  My eyes were watery and threatening to overflow. This is why I shouldn’t drink. I became an emotional disaster. Every. Single. Time. I wanted to argue with Carly, I couldn’t. Every word she’d said was true. A truth I hated, and one I’d do anything to avoid dealing with, yet it seemed my luck had run out on this one. “I’m sorry. I just couldn’t—”

  “Don’t! Don’t give me that bullshit. Not unless you mean it. I get it, okay. Shit went down. Bad shit. And it was all my brother’s fault. But come on, Payton, you were my best friend. I was your friend before Hayden even knew who you were, and you let him come between us. The one thing you promised you’d never do. You were my sister…”

  “I was going to be,” I corrected sadly. />
  “No, Payton. You were. You’d been my sister since we were ten years old and Blake put worms down our tops. Do you remember that little shit? That’s when you became my best friend. Hayden, he was just a mistake you made after that.”

  “Carly, come on. He’s your brother…”

  “And he always will be. He’s also the douchebag who broke my best friend’s heart ’cause he couldn’t keep his dick in his pants.”

  “Wh-what?”

  “Huh?”

  “What did you just say?”

  “Um…nothing?”

  “Carly,” my voice was something I’d never heard before. It was deep and menacing and scared me a little. “Hayden walked out on me. Left me on the floor. Told me he didn’t love me anymore and couldn’t marry me. That’s it. Isn’t it?”

  When she sprung up and grabbed the bottle of vodka, half filling both our glasses, I knew something big was coming. Something that was going to hurt like I’d never been hurt before. Thus the anaesthetic. Namely vodka.

  “Pay…”

  “Don’t fucking ‘Pay’ me, Carly. Spit it out?”

  “Hayden got married. Two weeks ago. Their baby is due next month.”

  My glass was empty before she finished. I wasn’t expecting that. The scariest part though was I wasn’t expecting how it felt. I felt nothing. Not numb, not sad, not even angry. I had every right to be throwing things and chucking the world’s most epic tantrum right now, but I didn’t want to. Even the tears in my eyes seemed to dry up. It was eerie.

  “I’m sorry, Pay. I didn’t want to tell you.”

  “Is that why you’re here? Really?”

  “No. I’m here because my best friend texted me and I needed to know she was okay. And Pay, you’re not okay.” Well, fuck, didn’t that hurt. I thought I was. “You’re doing so much better than okay. I know we haven’t talked about it yet, but you have this kick ass apartment above a bakery, so you’re obviously back in the kitchen, where you always wanted to be. And that man…fuck me, he’s hot. Please tell me he has a brother, or a cousin, or even a young uncle.”

  I dissolved in a fit of laughter. Carly’s begging was the last thing I needed. There was the girl I’d known and loved my whole life. The one who could turn a serious conversation around with a few choice words.